A dear friend of mine, Jen, signed up for match.com a few weeks ago. As she indulged me with her sometimes exciting, but more often painful accounts of her experiences, I began to sense that she wasn’t having much fun. On top of that, although she has years of experience going on dates, with this new form of dating she has become a beginner.
As online dating has become more commonplace, competition has increased and some dating sites have differentiated themselves on customer vertical such as cougarlife.com, while others have tried to differentiate with advanced algorithms for finding love (eharmony.com).
However, it struck me that none of them offer a unique user experience as a way of standing apart. They all follow the same template web form of user profiles, so, Jen’s profile looks the same as everyone else’s even though she is a unique and vivacious individual. Even worse, they do a poor job of leveraging real life dating and relationship metaphors so ‘pros’ like Jen are transported back to high school when dating was a new experience.
Match.com: Please help my friend Jen find a man. And, have fun while she is doing it.
Here are some ideas for you inspired by Jen’s pain:
Help Jen weed out creeps.
Virtual actions likes ‘winks’ or ‘blowing kisses’ are offered by some sites as way to flirt. But, Jen has rejected all the guys from match.com that have ‘winked’ at her. Why? Because in real life if someone winked at her, it would be creepy. If he blew her a kiss, she might kick him and run. But, there aren’t that many alternatives available, so what’s a guy to do if he wants to flirt with Jen?
In real life, Jen uses the method of flirting as a signal to figure out whether to participate, kick, laugh, or run. It helps her determine if he’s a good match and what his intention is. It can also be a fun way of getting to know someone. Virtual flirting should mimic this.
Virt Flirt: What if there were a lot more ways to flirt or you could even create your own signature line?
Since Jen is most interested in ‘marriage potential’, she’s likely going to weed out the butt grabbers and respond to the guy who opened the door. Already, she’s once step ahead.
Give Jen context.
Jen has been dating for years and she knows what the clues to use when sizing up potential. She meets guys at events like parties, or weddings, or at the park. She gets to see what they are wearing, who they are talking to, the environment they’ve chosen to be in, and often even meet their friends. She uses this information to help her figure out whether to pursue or abort. But, ‘online profiles’ don’t reveal this contextual information. Instead, they offer multiple choice answers to pre-canned questions like “what’s your idea of your favorite vacation?”
Real-Deal Profile: Imagine if a guy’s profile page could tell Jen more:
Although Jen is scared of the puka shell necklace John is wearing, she’ll likely decide to email him back because he has a couple listed as his best friends, indicating the puka shell necklace may only be a remnant of his past frat boy life.
Help Jen stay sane.
Feeling like a novice, Jen had a ton of questions about the etiquette of online dating. “which picture should I put on my profile?” “If he winks at me, should I send him a wink or an email?” “After how many rounds of email should we meet in person?” Unfortunately, I didn’t know the answer either, and Jen could not find the answer via Google. She remains fretful and fearful of what her next moves should be.
Recommended Moves: What if there was guidance for newbies like Jen that would recommend what she should do based on the behavioral trends from other online daters? Jen could get guidance on which profile picture to use to attract the type of guys she said she was looking for.
(Author’s note: OKcupid.com currently analyses their data and publishes the data to their blog. Integrating this data into decision making recommendations for the user is the next step)
.
Although another friend told her she’d get more interest with a cleavage shot, Jen can confidently make the decision to use her flirty photo instead.
Jen could also get guidance on how to interact with her prospects based on the based on her and her guys’ actions like emails, virt-flirts, and views:
In this scenario, Jen has been encouraged to suggest a date with Potential Pete. In today’s world, the fear she and Pete have to make the first move would have resulted in an eventual death of their courtship. Now, Jen and Pete may go on to procreate.